Man Overboard

Yesterday was a fun day. I dined with one of my dearest and best friends for free at one of the local restaurants offering lunches to vets. We reminisced about old times, the uncertain future, and just how happy we were to be there.

Later I started thinking about memorable adventures. I had quite a few in four years, many of them after I returned from the Orient and went aboard the USS Hunley for a couple of years. It was on the east coast and I learned, to my dismay, that they hated west coast sailors, particularly ones with certain service ribbons. So … they gave us the lowest jobs on the ship, or so they thought. I ended up being a Bosun’s Mate.

I loved it.

There was this one time. We were at sea and they decided to have a “man-overboard drill.” Since I was coxswain of the Admiral’s Barge, they decided somehow that I was senior and should coxswain the lifeboat.

Oh wow. The photo shows us being lowered over the side. I’m the one aft with his arm sticking out to grab the lowering lines.

Now. You see these shots of ships at sea and you think, "How peaceful." Not really. Those waves were about nine feet from peak to trough and it was a little boat. The ship would disappear into the tr when we descended and reappear at the peak. We struggled toward the “man-overboard dummy” that was also appearing and reappearing. The ship, on the other hand, was a little farther away each time we caught a glimpse.

Then the engine died.

We had an officer with us but he was bent over a gunnel puking.

We had an engineman on the craft but he was the second dumbest man on the ship.

We had several Marines with loaded weapons (what for I don’t know, sharks maybe) but they were puking on one another and waving their rifle muzzles in our faces.

As if all this weren't unnerving enough, we were bouncing around like a kernel of popcorn.

The ship was drifting farther away.

I thought I could hear the dummy yelling for help.

While I was mentally computing the distance to Cuba, the engine caught. We grabbed the dummy and motored back.

Then our troubles really started.

Getting back aboard called for inserting pins into bollards at each end of the boat. One of those pins is what the lad, forward at the bow, is trying to grab. The pins were attached to lines that would then hoist us aboard.

Remember, the waves were about nine feet deep, or high—depending on which way we were bouncing.

Also know this. It was right after lunch and they were cleaning the galley. There are these things called scuppers on the side of a ship where they discharge waste.

Thanks to my shipmate and FB friend
 Sidney Bussey for the photo.

Yep. You guessed it. In addition to the sick passengers, we were now being bombarded with partial heads of cabbage, uneaten meals, and other delicacies.

We stopped for three minutes to give thanks that this adventure was playing out on the port side of the ship. I shan’t tell you what the scuppers on the starboard side discharged.

Well, we made it or I wouldn’t be here to relate this adventure. I was somewhat a local hero although it was observed that, after several failed attempts at grabbing the dummy in the rough water, I solved the problem by landing the boat athwart his lifeless form. Although it might have been bad for his health, it facilitated recovery. Besides, a real person could have been expected to get the hell out of the way.

I was happy to get back to motoring the Admiral's wife and her friends around Charleston Harbor. As an aside, they always had a nice meal aboard of chilled chicken and white wine with beer chasers. As we deposited them at the main naval base pier, the precious lady would always say with a wink, "Now 'Boats' (they give us this honorific), "You do know how to dispose of the leftovers properly, now don't you." That's when I learned the benefits of saying, "Yes ma'am."

But back to the man-overboard drill. Did I learn a lesson? Yes. Being able to find humor in situations is part of the coping skills that four billion years of evolution has provided us. Luckily, we had them, the coping skills I mean.

We can only hope these younger brothers and sisters do.

"Youth is wasted on the young." - George Bernard Shaw

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