"I was on the
point of crying at her, 'Don't you hear them?' The dusk was repeating them in a
persistent whisper all around us, in a whisper that seemed to swell menacingly
like the first whisper of a rising wind. 'The horror! The horror!'
"'His last word—to
live with,' she murmured. 'Don't you understand I loved him—I loved him—I loved
him!'
"I pulled myself
together and spoke slowly.
"'The last word he
pronounced was—your name.'
"I heard a light
sigh, and then my heart stood still, stopped dead short by an exulting and
terrible cry, by the cry of inconceivable triumph and of unspeakable pain. 'I
knew it—I was sure!' . . . She knew. She was sure. I heard her weeping; she had
hidden her face in her hands. It seemed to me that the house would collapse
before I could escape, that the heavens would fall upon my head. But nothing
happened. The heavens do not fall for such a trifle. Would they have fallen, I
wonder, if I had rendered Kurtz that justice which was his due? Hadn't he said
he wanted only justice? But I couldn't. I could not tell her. It would have
been too dark—too dark altogether. . . "
“I felt good and all
washed clean of sin for the first time I had ever felt so in my life, and I
knowed I could pray now. But I didn't do it straight off, but laid the paper
down and set there thinking—thinking how good it was all this happened so, and
how near I come to being lost and going to hell. And went on thinking. And got
to thinking over our trip down the river; and I see Jim before me all the time:
in the day and in the night-time, sometimes moonlight, sometimes storms, and we
a-floating along, talking and singing and laughing. But somehow I couldn't seem
to strike no places to harden me against him, but only the other kind. I'd see
him standing my watch on top of his'n, 'stead of calling me, so I could go on
sleeping; and see him how glad he was when I come back out of the fog; and when
I come to him again in the swamp, up there where the feud was; and such-like
times; and would always call me honey, and pet me, and do everything he could
think of for me, and how good he always was; and at last I struck the time I
saved him by telling the men we had smallpox aboard, and he was so grateful,
and said I was the best friend old Jim ever had in the world, and the only one
he's got now; and then I happened to look around and see that paper.
It was a close place. I
took it up, and held it in my hand. I was a-trembling, because I'd got to
decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort
of holding my breath, and then says to myself:
"All right, then,
I'll go to hell"—and tore it up. It was awful thoughts and awful words,
but they was said. And I let them stay said; and never thought no more about
reforming. I shoved the whole thing out of my head, and said I would take up
wickedness again, which was in my line, being brung up to it, and the other
warn't. And for a starter I would go to work and steal Jim out of slavery
again; and if I could think up anything worse, I would do that, too; because as
long as I was in, and in for good, I might as well go the whole hog.”
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