A Confession Long Overdue

Okay … Okay. Old friend Rick Fahr  asked me a pointed question about possible sins of my errant youth. After a long week of contemplation, I must confess. While a grade-schooler and Cub Scout, a native Hawaiian woman, married to a serviceman, moved next door to my Den Mother. In what must have been a retributive act, they forced our den to learn the Hula. More than that, they made us assume the position of dancers and perform before friends and parents at the Lakeside Elementary School auditorium, all of us, and I could name some names if I took a notion to. Sainted mothers of the scouts had to make Hula outfits out of crepe paper. It included halter tops consisting of a narrow strip over what would have been, in a more realistic setting, ample bosoms. Instead, they were held up with tape.

Yes. I insulted an entire race, denigrated people who would become my fellow Americans only seven years later, despoiled the service of brave veterans like Daniel Inouye, and dishonored a magnificent cultural phenomenon. It’s even rumored that it later caused young men of that state to disguise their citizenship because of the insult.

So there, Fahr. Truth to power, but I can never run for office. Well, maybe if I chose a good “Salvation Date” that would prevent snoopy journalists from delving into my previous life. That worked for GWB.

Oh, and glad you asked. Sainted mother thought it hilarious. Had I pre-deceased her, I’m sure she would have told about it at my funeral. My sister would be happy to relate it had I not so many tales with which I could respond.

Here’s the number we did. They do it a bit better, but hell, we were only eight years old, and flat-chested boys. One was captain of our school's football team. Think about that for a minute or two. It may answer some questions. But remember those names I could disclose.

Yes I married him, but I was nearly 20 and desperate.