EPIPHANY OF THE DAY

 THE LAW

There is a legal defense of sorts that used to be taught in the law schools of my state. It may still be. I don’t know. I’m not an attorney, not a law school student.

Anyway, the defense was named after a prominent attorney and state legislator from Arkansas in a case some years ago. Accused of some malfeasance or other rising to the level of potential illegality, he formed a remarkable line of reasoning. The logic employed was so remarkable that its use was taught to future attorneys at one time. It was something along the lines of:

“I’m accused of doing something that, on analysis, is very stupid. Am I stupid? No. I graduated from college and law school, and passed the bar exam. I’m savvy enough to be elected to our state legislature, perhaps no great, but certainly no mean feat. I have a successful law practice. So, I’m not stupid. When one considers that what I’m accused of would be a stupid act, and one sees that I am obviously not stupid then, ipso facto, (a legal term meaning: darn tootin’) the chances of my guilt are zero.”

I seem to remember that it worked but I’m not sure.

So now we have what I propose to label the “Donald Trump Defense.” It would run, in contra-conception to one mentioned above, along the lines of:

“I’m accused of doing wrong. I’m new at this. But I was once President and there is no way a president can be held to the standard of what is right or wrong. My Supreme Court said so. Therefore, libet dicere (rough translation: bite me) my innocence is assured beyond a shadow of a doubt.”

A few words of caution bear consideration. As I mentioned earlier, wise men will avoid this defense with spouses. Also, members of progressive political parties should eschew its use as they labor under the legal assumptions of intelligentes estis and  competentsus est assurdant. (legal terms meaning: don’t try this crap with us).

There exist many examples where the efficacy of the “Donald Trump” defense would not prove appropriate, getting caught parked in Mike Tyson’s spot for example. And, in the event of accidently initiating a nuclear war, don’t bother. We’ll be operating under another legal principle, id est moot, (a legal term meaning alle ist kaput).