Americans

 Forcing myself to be optimistic on what may be one of the most important days in American history. If things turn out right, we will continue to have enlightened leadership based on adherence to the law and human kindness. Will there be decisions with which I don’t agree?

Certainly. I’m an American.

If things don’t turn out right, I fear this will be the last election America enjoys. Oh, there will be things called “elections” like in Russia. But we will no longer have the opportunity to vote out fascists who don’t do the things their supporters thought they would. Will I resist?

Certainly. I’m an American.

It isn’t easy trying to imagine an America ruled under a government that mocks the disabled, sets a mob loose on police officers guarding our nation’s capitol, demeans our military and its veterans, denounces science, places women in subservient positions with no control over their own health, and rises to power on bigotry. Will the people grow weary of their rule?

Certainly, they’re Americans.

But I stand by my feeling that this will not come to happen. We have a choice today. Will we stand our ground and speak out with our votes against tyranny and oppression?

Certainly. We’re Americans.

EPIPHANY OF THE DAY

 SACRIFICE

 Folks, I am a veteran of the United States Navy. I served one year in Vietnam and the rest on a Navy vessel. I didn’t join the Navy because I sought adventure. I joined because the Draft Board told me that one more address change and they would send a squad for me. I picked the Navy because I loved it more than the others.

I entered a bitter enlistee and emerged one who loved both America and the Navy, despite the fact that many Americans didn’t love me. I know how it feels to be despised for your service.

I entered a profession and immediately became aware of the sacrifices I had made. Peers who never served had good jobs and let me know about it. My own brother-in-law told me that secretaries at the paper mill where he worked made more money than I.

But I progressed. So did my country. So did the attitude toward me and my brother and sister veterans.

Then.

I was disappointed when a major political party dishonored the service of Max Cleland who went to Vietnam with four limbs and returned with one.

I was dismayed when a major political party dishonored the service of John Kerry who drove river boats in the treacherous waters of Vietnam.

I was disgusted when a major political party dishonored the service of John McCain who spent six years in a brutal prison as a result of serving his country.

I was despondent when a major political party deemed me a “sucker-loser” and dishonored veterans who wore their country’s highest honor for bravery and sacrifice.

Now, I live in a state where not a single constitutional office holder deems my service honorable. This includes the service of those who served before, after, and with me, including those more than 50,000 whose names fill the most famous wall in Washington.

Does it make me want to give up?

Nah, it’s just, as someone once quipped, “Déjà vu all over again.”

It makes me want to serve. The old uniform wouldn’t fit, but this old Bosun’s Mate can still tie a clove hitch. It was once called the king of knots for its ability to hold when needed in a tight spot and released when needed elsewhere. In fact, a high accolade for a sailor ran, “He’s all in a clove hitch.”

I’m going to whip a hitch and join the ride. Come on along. I’ll tie one for you too. They deserve it.

EPIPHANY OF THE DAY

 COACHES

 Thinking about football coaches. Never sell one short.

Some years ago, I was sitting in the lobby of a real estate office in a mid-sized Arkansas town waiting to see the owner about his current development plans. A man entered and walked through the lobby and the sight shocked me. Later I told the owner, “That man looked like our old football coach Marcus Kaufman.”

“Yep.”

“Really?”

“Our top salesperson.”

“He was our football coach and math teacher for years.”

“Sells real estate now. And does he ever."

It was true that he had been a coach. Legendary ain’t the word. Rumors abounded. A prevalent one had him flying a fighter plane in WWII. An adjunct rumor had him shot down, an incident that left him with an uncontrollable tick when he got excited. He had two modes: telling you to do it and telling you how you did. He once gave my sister an A+ on her report card and scribbled a note to my parents saying he was sorry it couldn't have been higher. How would you like to carry that on your shoulders through High School?

“Your top salesperson?”

“He is great with young folks. He shows them several houses and when they opt to see another, he stops the car and tells them they have seen enough and they need to pick one so they can get settled in and start their family. Works every time.”

Never sell a teacher short. I think Coach Walz said that.

EPIPHANY OF THE DAY

 

TRUTH

The Alien C.W came by earlier this morning in a state of great confusion, or at least as he appeared to be in the shape of a modern Walter Cronkite.

"Woe be unto me," he said. He sometimes talks that way on Sunday.

"What's up?"

"Troubles."

"Troubles?"

"I've been accused of ballinkoutrazz."

"Say what?"

"Making things up. Lying, Submitting a false report to the Faloonian Elders."

"Say what?"

"You know I transmit a report to them each what you call, 'Saturday' on the goings on here."

"Yes. What happened?"

"You know they have a pretty good understanding of things here."

"Yes. I've seen some of your reports. Quite well done, as I recall, except for the time you referred to me as a 'kept pet.'"

"Not anymore. I'm accused of sluth."

"You mean sloth?"

"That's what I said."

"Why?"

"They say the last report cannot be accepted as the work of a true observer."

"Why?"

"No clue have I. Here. Read it for yourself." He handed me a sheet of writing.

It began, "As of today, Donald J. Trump appears tied for election of President of the country to which I am assigned with a fair chance of winning."

I looked at him. "So?"

"They say there is no country on no planet in any galaxy where this could be true."

"You've got a problem," I said.

"If you think that's a problem. Read the next line."

I looked. It read, "And his running mate seems destined for a fair chance also of being elected."

EPIPHANY OF THE DAY

 CRITICISM

Truth is, for any veteran who served honorably, a misanthrope can find a moment in the veteran’s career to criticize. It doesn’t even require a venom-dripping cult member as the purveyor of negativity. It could be a decent person.

For example, take my distinguished career in the United States Navy. A much as I was beloved and honored, enough that they allowed me to transport an Admiral around in his boat, called “The Barge,” one might find a glitch.

My Admiral mostly had good things to say, even awarded me a letter of commendation for my service.

But, however, were he to be whisked from his heavenly “whiskey and poker” game with Jones, Halsey, and Nimitz, I’m sure he might offer, with his sternest admiral’s face, a mild censure for one incident.

That was the time I transported him and an Assistant Secretary of the Navy to some function. While executing a port moor, while followed by a raging ebb tide, on Charleston’s Cooper River, I almost tumped said Secretary into said river.

My Admiral was not amused. He continued his trust, though, even to the point of allowing my crew and me to transport his wife and her friends, on occasion, for a “wine and chilled chicken excursion” to Fort Sumter. (I loved those trips, and her, for she would always say, "Boats, you know how to properly dispose of this leftover wine and food, don't you?")

"Aye, aye, Ma'am."

So there, next time you see a criticism of a veteran, especially if you are in the 99+ percent of Americans who will never don one of her military uniforms, please do us all a favor.

Mind your own damned business.

EPIPHANY OF THE DAY

 SERVICE

Best I can remember, it was in late summer of 1973. The crime? We both skipped work to stay home and watch a full day of the Senate Watergate hearings on television. Former Richard Nixon aide John Ehrlichman was testifying. The terms riveting and spell binding don’t even begin to describe the effect. The future of our country stood on one of those dangerous precipices of history. You know the feeling—where we are now.

The high point of the day was when the late Senator Daniel Ken "Dan" Inouye, one of the committee members forgot that his microphone was live after Ehrlichman finished his testimony. As people began stirring, Senator Inouye, a decorated World War Two veteran of the famed Japanese American 442nd Regimental Combat Team, leaned back and said, “What a liar.”

As an aside, having lost an arm in combat, Senator Inouye was a perfect example of the kind of hero that modern conservatives and evangelicals would demean and denigrate for his service, a clear sign of our sailing into the abyss.

Just ask Max Cleland, John Kerry, or John McCain. Or, we can check yesterday's headlines.

Now, as they say, “It’s déjà vu all over again.” We can almost see the venom dripping from the fangs of those who would disparage a man’s 24 years of service in uniform for political gain.

As one who grew up not long after World War Two ended, it is difficult, very difficult, for me to accept a veteran’s service to America as a negative wedge issue.

In the springtime of my adulthood, after the winter of my own military service, I often wondered how some people could hate a veteran. I suppose it is easier if your cult tells you to.

The lure of the Kool-Aide is strong with these people.

EPIPHANY OF THE DAY

 SECULARISM

This time I think we have gone too far. It seems, at least according to the internet, that a representative from one of our political parties has insisted that we must become a “Christian Nation.” He also said women have to have babies or they won't count, or maybe only as 3/5 of a person. We'll get to that later.

Meanwhile, I dunno.

I am not up to the task of being an evangelical voter. Now there may be some folks who are, but I am fairly weak in spirit, physical strength, and financial resources.

First, we would have to become a forgiving nation, to wit:

Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

“No!” Jesus replied, “seventy times seven!” Matthew 18:21-22:

Now take those people who stormed our United States Capitol on January 6, 2021. If we were a bona-fide Christian Nation, and there were statutory punishments in place for un-American activity, I suppose I could forgive them. If I had to, and if the penalties for non-Christian behavior were severe enough, I suppose I might make it twice or even three times. But let me tell you, before we got to 70 times 7, I would fall by the wayside and who knows? The man (?) who called me a sucker/loser for serving in in foreign war? Rather than forgive him, I might find myself in a cell with a big bully in a white robe wanting to show me the “treasures of the universe.” Just maybe.

We couldn’t get divorced as citizens of a Christian nation, except for adultery. Of course we could make it unilateral, i.e. an option only available to men. Now I don’t want to. Get divorced, that is, hard to imagine a set of circumstances under which I would. No, wait a minute. I beg your pardon … If I were to ever catch her watching Fox News, I’d be out the door in two seconds flat and nobody could blame me. So, there are two major points of concern.

Here’s a third: I’d have to give away all my belongings. That’s one of the plainest demands within the scriptures. Now if I gave away all my money, I’d have to rely on non-believers to take care of me.

Oh gosh. The meek would inherit our country. I find those people tiresome in their nondescript little houses and their weekend family fishing trips.

Peace makers! Who needs them? Halliburton stock would be worthless.

In seeming contradiction to some of the other mandates, we would have to be a more vengeful nation. I guess we could keep a war or two going. That would require a reinstatement of the draft probably. I’ve been through that, so it might not affect me. On the other hand, remember the Volkstrum. If I did get pulled in, I do have a problem with this stricture that would become part of our legal system.

Now, therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known a man by lying with him. But all the young girls who have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves. (Num. 31:17-18, Revised Standard Version.)

We now come to my final question. Whose Christianity? I am not going to hand out The Watchtower on Saturday morning and miss the Bowery Boys movies on TCM. Just get my cell ready.

Also, if the Mormons win out, I think I should rather live in the Windward Islands than wear Magic Underwear. My wife might go along with the harems if she could be First Wife, but she’s not about to accept that secondary citizenship business.

Snake handling? Forget it.

And, so help me Charles Darwin, I would rather be locked up in the Opryland Hotel with a dominatrix on steroids than to be in the same room with Joel Osteen

EPIPHANY OF THE DAY

CHILDLESSNESS

Evidently one political party endorses the view that a childless woman, expanded to a childless couple, doesn’t deserve a role in determining the fate of America.

Having a history involving this concept, I can offer a personal opinion.

This is a political stand of almost unbelievable cruelty.

We, my life’s partner and I, produced no children in our marriage. Once, we were on the path, but a miscarriage ended the process and no further attempts proved successful.

If Cult members could see the look on the face of a woman who has just seen the process of motherhood fail, would it change their minds?

I doubt it. Cults demand the repudiation of empathy as much as they do reason.

There is a larger picture here, though. A couple having suffered through a miscarriage or a failure to procreate doesn’t represent the only childless Americans.

Men have had the opportunity to avoid the responsibility of parenthood for years. Women haven’t. Now they face opprobrium by their personal decision. That should lose the cult half the vote in an election.

It won’t. Cults demand obedience to doctrine over any sense of personhood.

Finaly, the Cult accepts, by non-refutation, the concept that those who have no children don’t deserve the honor of having a stake in the future of America.

Really?