Complexity

I don’t think this is classified. Even if it is, I’ll share it anyway. How could they prosecute me for breaking my Oath of Enlistment while Cadet Bone Spurs and pals daily violate their Oath of Office? Besides, I plan to make a professional point to fellow urban planners and students of public administration.

It starts this way: I possess certain information that I wish to pass along to those who never experienced the blessings of military service. It can be a hoot at times. Not so much so at others. But one learns things.

What I plan to divulge is this: There used to be, when I served my country, an approved military method of treating an infestation of crabs in the pubic area. It specified that one first shave half of said pubic area, leaving the other half bare.

Now we come to the useful part. I’m not sure this is still doctrine. I don’t think the U.S. Navy is as manly as it used to be. Anyway, having shaved half the infested area, one then applies cigarette-lighter fluid to the other half and sets it afire. The terrified crabs flee into the shaved area whereupon the subject stabs them to death with a sharp icepick. There, call me a whistle-blower if you wish.

You might ask, “ What’s the point? Okay keep up.

Fast-forward to modern times. This is exactly the method that many cities use in writing their zoning regulations. And the writers wonder why there is such screaming during the application of those regulations.

It extends to the state regulation writers as well. And the feds have fully-automatic icepicks that can deliver 60 strikes a minute. Have you ever read the U.S. Tax Code? It’s harder to read than some zoning codes. I once read the instructions for taking out money from your IRA. If I remember correctly, it was twelve pages of tiny-font gibberish.

And there are zoning codes that take four paragraphs to tell you where the front-yard setback line runs, an odd fact because front yard setbacks are a bit anachronistic in today’s world. The problem in deciding where they go stems from what to call the front of the house. See, there are overhangs, cornices, foundation extension, front porches, bay windows, and oh, my head is spinning.

And so we go. We no longer address problems with a “Hey kids, let’s put on a show.” Now it’s “Hey kids, let’s complicate the hell out of anything we can find.”

And we wonder why kids stare at their cell phones all day.

Peace, Honor, Country ....

Theology Time: There’s an old saw concerning the point at which a preacher quits preaching and starts meddling. According to early Christian writers, and my opinion, the Galilean reached that point nearly 2,000 years ago. He said, standing on that rocky mount in remote Judea, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”

Say what?

It doesn’t make much sense does it? According to most research, there have been less than a couple dozen years since America’s founding that it hasn’t been at war, at least for one day. A Christian nation? I report. Ya’ll decide. For a complete listing of America’s warlike excursions, click here.

What would the Galilean say about all this? I can only imagine. He might want to see some of the folks at the top. He might say something couched in modern phrasing, like, “What part of ‘peacemakers’ did you not understand?”

He might say something like, “You didn’t listen to me about divorces. Why should I expect any more from you?”

He might say something like, “That’s the silliest-looking mustache I’ve ever seen. Do you really expect people to take you seriously?”

He might say something like, “You graduated from West Point. Duty? Honor? Country? Destruction? You should know better. And please quit with the ‘rapture’ stuff. I don’t even know what you are talking about.”

He might say, “Please show me where I said anything like ‘blessed are the makers of aircraft carriers,’ if you would please.”

He might say, “Would you please show me where I ever called the makers of guns ‘the least of those among us’—the ones most in need of our love and succor?”

He might say. “Did I ever instruct my disciples to go forth and slay those whom they didn’t love?”

He might say, “Oh, and while I am at it, I never liked those Nazis. Sad to say, some of those they murdered were distant, far distant, relatives of mine. I approved that war, but I never called their descendants ‘fine people’ that I can recall.”

He might say, “Ya’ll better start paying attention to ya’ll are listening to.” (I think he was from Southern Galilee, wasn’t he?)

He might say, “You people give me a colossal headache. Don't make me come back down there.”

Well, he might say a lot of things. What he did say was, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” Neither Rupert Murdoch nor his prancing imps can change that.

If it sticks in your craw, and you consider it meddling, you might better start paying attention to whom you listen.

Blessed are the Bomb Makers?
I can't find it.