Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts

Thursday, November 14, 2019

Wake Up Call

“My Sainted Mother used to wake us up with a loud shrill, “Wake up Jacob! Day’s a’breaking,” It was one of the few occasions during which I thought ill of her. I’m sure she learned the practice deep in the woods of Cleveland County, Arkansas. It was particularly annoying of a Monday morning. Indeed, on a school day it produced thoughts of revenge. I would envision informing the world about the package of Kool cigarettes that she kept hidden in a jacket in her closet, accessible when we kids were all away.

My father had a less annoying but even more efficacious manner of getting us up and moving. “I ain’t sayin’ it again.” That caused three sets of feet to hit the cold floor.

These days our foster puppy, Daisy the Demon Dog, communicates her wakeup announcement telepathically, something along the lines of, “You can’t begin to imagine what a mess I can make if you don’t get in here and get some din-din ready.” It works. After morning ablutions, she loves to initiate the entertainment portion of the day with a game she calls, “Tug on the fat man’s robe.” That often results in incarceration, a punishment devoutly deplored.

A careful reader can see why I have put so much thought into how to awaken my sleeping spouse of a morning. Here’s what I try.

First, I make sure that she does not cradle her little friend, “Mr, Louisville,” but, rather, it is safely out of reach under the bed.

Next, I approach softly, still out of reach of harm’s way. “Missy,” I start. “All the other pretty little girls are up already.” 

This generally brings forth a series of oaths that would have made Captain Lucky Jack Aubrey take notes.

Then I try, “I think Matthew McConaughey has dropped by to see you. He brought the guys from ZZ Top with him.” That brings only a smile.

Then it is decision time. If I see a hand reach down and under the bed, I initiate a strategic withdrawal. Same-same if there is a hard cover book within her reach.

As I reach the bedroom door, my courage generally returns. I’ll wheel with the resolute courage of a young Audie Murphy, and emit my next invite.

“I think maybe it’s time for you to think about getting up. The light over yon horizon is breaking.” Like mother, like son.

Thereupon I flee. That final exoneration has produced flying objects weighing in excess of ten pounds. I close the bedroom door softly with a final challenge, “There’s a good, hot, fresh pot of coffee waiting for you when you get up.”

That’s how you stay married for 47 years, young fellers.

Early on, I learned
to avoid this look.



Saturday, June 15, 2019

Youthful Heroes

Have you ever had such a pleasant surprise that it changed your life? It happened to me once maybe 20 years ago. Pleasant wasn’t the word for it.

It happened this way.

I had responded to a call from a worker at our state’s Office of Volunteerism and had agreed to some pro bono work for the City of Alma, Arkansas. That’s a nice community in the far west of the state, almost to Oklahoma. Yes, you remember right, it’s where Buck Barrow and another of Bonnie and Clyde’s gang members murdered a town marshal back in the 1930s. Anyway, it’s a long way from Little Rock.

 I figured I would drive there and do my thing, then drive back. But no, the man from the state insisted on driving the both of us in a state car.

Drats. I barely knew him. His name was Hal Naylor, and was a fastidious sort of guy—tall, thin, neat, and no-nonsense. And here I was, well, much the opposite in some ways. But I was stuck with Hal for maybe four hours in a car, just the two of us. Maybe I could keep him occupied by relating my fascinating life’s story. Maybe not. Drats.

We took off. Somewhere about the western city limits of North Little Rock, something motivated him to tell me about his life. First thing was, he was distantly related to Dwight Eisenhower, the Dwight Eisenhower. Hal told about how, when he was a young boy, the Colonel had stopped by to visit family when passing through Kansas. Hal had met him and still remembered how splendid he looked in his uniform and highly shined boots.

Then it really got interesting. Hal was a college student when World War Two broke out. He left college, joined cadet pilot training program, and, at age 21, found himself piloting a B-17 Flying Fortress and its nine-man crew, ten counting Hal. Holy wingspan! Now, I’ve nothing against the youth of today. I’m only thinking how few 21-year-olds I would let take my car in for an oil-change.

Oh goodness. On the flight over to England, the Germans hacked the plane’s communications and he landed in a neutral zone. After being hustled out, he made it to England and began bombing runs over France and into Germany.

We were halfway to Alma by then, but I hadn’t even noticed.

On, if I remember right, their sixth mission, they got shot down. Being the pilot, he was the last one out, barely making it through a hatch jammed by the heavy winds of a fast descent. His parachute was tied to his leg, so he had to slip it on as he fell. Somehow, he made it onto German soil.

I’ve always thought it interesting that he, although quite talkative, didn’t have a lot to say about how they carried out his rescue. He just said, “I walked through Germany to a designated spot.” Still classified after all those years? Maybe. Anyway, his rescuers told him to hide in the woods at the edge of a clearing where, a plane would land at 0130 Hours, a while after midnight. It would turn around, a hatch would open, and he had 30 seconds to be through the hatch before the plane took off.

He’s 21 years old, mind you, in Germany and facing certain death if anything went wrong.

The plane came, landed turned and waited. The hatch opened and our young escapee started running.

“Then,” he said, “I heard all the footsteps behind me. I made the conscious decision that if they caught me and killed me, I would be as close to that plane as I could get.”

Somehow, he reached the plane before they overtook him and he dove through the hatch. Another body dove in behind him. Then another, and another and another. Soon, the cargo space was full of young Americans and the plane took off for freedom. Seems they had all been waiting with no knowledge of another person anywhere around.

On that day, I took the shortest ride to and from Alma, Arkansas that I ever took. Gee, I wish I could take it again.



Sunday, November 4, 2018

Sunday Break


It's Sunday and time to take a break from the adventures of being a newlywed in 1972 Little Rock. Here's a short story I wrote, base on an incident when I was writing pieces for the Quapaw Quarter Chronicle when editor Starr Mitchell was trying to make it a serious publication. Any resemblance to actual persons is coincidental.

The Assignment
By Jimmie von Tungeln
           
Truth be known, I didn’t want to do the piece in the first place. Hell, I wasn’t even a journalist. I was a consultant, a pretty good one, and should have stuck to it. But I had been doing these modest little columns for a Little Rock quarterly that promoted historic preservation. I was acquainted with the editor, I lived in a so-called historic district, and I knew most of the people who lived there. So, I agreed to help.
 It was a good fit. People associated living in historic neighborhoods with eccentricity back in those days. Things that supported that viewpoint were always welcome. So, folks liked my little “human interest” pieces. As for me, I was happy to stick to them. There was no chance of running out of characters, and I didn’t have to travel.
            Then the editor called me one day and asked me to stop by. When I got there, she up and gave me an assignment. Just like that, like I was some cub reporter or something. This posed a noticeable departure from the usual process whereby I just picked out some local oddball and wrote about how they had adjusted to living in an old house.
This time she picked the subject. Why? Beats me. Maybe I was getting stale or she was trying to sell more copies or something. Rather than speculate, I went along with her for the moment.
            Well guess what? You never know what dish life is going to serve up and what decisions are going to throw themselves in front of you, threatening your hemostasis like a group of western bandits with their pistols drawn and ready.
Here’s how it started.
            A local banker, known to us all as a neighbor and a nice guy, had bought one of the most historic homes in the city. It boasted such long-term ownerships that the house and grounds came with a caretaker who had worked there since the Depression. Mr. Pitts cared for the grounds and lived in a small apartment attached to the carriage house, a.k.a. the garage. He was a quiet little man of advanced age who lived alone and remained out of sight when not working. All the neighbors knew him to nod at, but none of us had ever talked to him.
            The editor explained the human-interest angle. Supposedly, a friendship had grown up between Mr. Pitts and the banker’s young son Alfie—Alfred Chidester LaRue was his full name—a little blond-haired kid from the high-rent side of life. Get it? Old black gardener and white heir apparent, the image of an odd couple as corny as it was appealing to our liberal audience. All I had to do was interview the old man, mine a few historic nuggets and take a picture of him and the kid together. It would produce enough “ain’t that cutes?” to make a tough man buy a round of drinks. There was no Pulitzer looming, but it would get me through until another deadline appeared, like a hungry tiger emerging from the mist. No problem.
Anyway, I didn’t have to. These columns represented a public service for me. In other words, I didn’t get paid. Seeing my words in print provided my only emolument. So, I had a degree of leverage unavailable to a poor inky wretch actually writing for a living.
I could have refused the assignment and interviewed, instead, a friend who was restoring a cottage near ours and who looked more like Charles Manson than Manson did himself. He played cello in the city’s symphony orchestra and would have been great material for a photo essay, the research being carried out over a couple of beers. Why should I spend a dry afternoon interviewing the town’s oldest gardener? It didn’t make a bit of sense. “To hell with the editor and her aspirations,” I kept telling myself. Was I my own man or what?
            Naturally, I took the assignment. I had to go through the banker himself and he pretty much outlined what he wanted the piece to say. Alfie was an only-child and, having few young friends in the neighborhood, he had taken up with Mr. Pitts. Followed him everywhere. Shared secrets with him. Even helped with the yardwork. Well, maybe a little. The important thing was the friendship that had developed between man and boy. That was the angle.
            Sure. One of the greatest and most persistent dreams of American Caucasians is that, someday, an African-American will love them. But I could pretend with the best, so I pressed on to complete the assignment.
            I set up an appointment for the next Saturday afternoon. It was a nice autumn day that welcomed a person outdoors like an old friend wanting to show you his garden. I grabbed an ancient Rolliflex camera that I used for such work, made sure I had pen and paper, and walked the two blocks to the house.
The house sat on a half-block facing one of the two main streets leading directly to downtown. When it was built, wealth had followed the topography. The larger houses were on the highest ground and homes fell off in size and value as the topography dropped. It was never more than a short walk from the mansions to the homes from which domestic help could be hired, for practically nothing, in the good old days. In other words, urban form followed economic function. Households weren’t separated by income as they are now. That’s how, thanks to the historic preservation craze, I could afford to live near a bunch of mansions.
            Anyway, I arrived. Mr. Pitts had dressed up a bit. He always wore neat clothes with a narrow-brimmed dress hat. Today he had added a tie. He stood at attention with his hands to his side and presented a smile like a boot-camper at inspection. Alfie was bouncing a ball against a tree and the parents stood by with pride. All was set for this to be a painless adventure. Wham, bam, thank you m’aam and I meet my deadline.
            I called little Alfie over and made him sit for a picture with Mr. Pitts. As I lined it up, I pulled a few grunts out of the kid to the effect that he liked Mr. Pitts and enjoyed helping him with the yard work. Mr. Pitts sat smiling through thick eyeglass lenses that distorted his face to where it looked like one of those cartoon characters that has just seen something either real juicy or real dangerous.
            So far, so good.
            Figuring I had about all out of Alfie I was going to get, I excused him with “Now Alfie, why don’t you let Mr. Pitts and me visit while you get back to your yard work?” In other words, “Scram, kid!”
            Alfie was more than happy to be rid of adults so he walked to beyond the garage. There, someone had dug a shallow pit from which smoke was rising. Within the pit, I assumed from the smell, were dead leaves, trash, and some sort of organic waste. Alfie amused himself by kicking more leaves into the fire.
His mother saw the opportunity and appeared from nowhere with a tray of cookies and iced tea. She sat them on the bench between us and asked, sweetly, and devoid of sincerity, the way a southern woman can ask, if we were comfortable. After receiving affirmatives, she then swished away amid a crackling of petticoats and an almost audible smile. I pushed the tray toward Mr. Pitts. He smiled and pushed it back toward me.
            “No, please, go ahead,” I stammered, fumbling for my writing pen.
            “Thank you, suh,” he said. He exaggerated the “suh” so I—so we both—would know he didn’t attach any meaning to it. Then he took a cookie in one hand and a glass of tea in another. He neither drank nor ate right away, though. He rested the arm with the cookie on his leg and wrapped a hand around the glass of tea as if to keep it from flying away. He smiled at me. His eyes looked even larger than before.
            A breeze filled the yard and blew smoke from Alfie’s fire toward us. As it did, Mr. Pits finally raised the cookie in a soft arc to his mouth and took a small bite from it. He lowered it and raised his glass with the same grand gesture and sipped his tea.
            Hoping to get started, I asked him how long he had lived around there.
            “Oh, I was born around here,” he said. “I been here for as long as I can remember. We lived on Tenth Street but it went for the freeway. House ain’t there no more.”
            He chewed his cookie with what I thought was a grim expression. As he did, the smoke circled us and I caught the pleasant smell of burning leaves punctuated by the sharp odor of the other trash smoldering in the pit. Mr. Pitts stiffened slightly and his eyes seemed to retreat behind his thick glasses.
            “I been here since when things were different than they are now,” he said. “Way different.”
Then, that far into the interview, he stopped talking. His voice didn’t exactly trail away as much as it fluttered beyond us like a feather caught in a whirlwind.
            I was losing him. I hurried back to work.
            “Different in what way?” I asked.
            He just looked at me. He seemed to struggle to respond and when he did, it wasn’t really to me but, it seemed, to the trees and the garden and maybe to the city itself with all its history and smoky secrets.
            “Way yonder different. Folks weren’t as good to you then.” He took another bite of cookie and drank from his glass. That energized him.
“My folks had it hard back then.”
            I tasted panic. Alfie had disappeared behind the garage and I felt as if I were on an asteroid hurtling through space with an alien. This affair wasn’t going according to plan. I nodded as if I understood and scratched on my pad without looking up. He continued.
            “The worse was what they done to Mr. Carter.”
            “Mr. Carter?” That was all I could manage.
            “Ain’t nobody should have had that done to them. Nobody. I don’t care if he was colored.”
            I gave up and stared at my pad. What was he saying, and where was he taking me? I stared right through my pad and into the ground. From therein oozed a memory. I met it halfway and solved the mystery.
Back in the 1920s, there had been a lynching in Little Rock, less than a half-mile from where we sat. It happened right in the middle of what was then the center of the “colored” commercial area, along Ninth Street.
“Oh my god,” I thought. “This is where he is going.” I tried to raise my head but it took three attempts to overcome the gravity created by that realization. When I did manage to look up, Mr. Pitts was somewhere far away, and scared. I mean really scared. His hand was shaking so much the tea was spilling.
            “I remember that day like it was yesterday,” he continued. They made us all go inside, for they knew there was to be trouble. I was just a child, but the oldest. My Momma put the youngest under the bed and made me watch after them. She said the white folks had done killed Mr. Carter and was draggin’ him down Ninth Street behind a car. She was scared and she made us all cry.
“We could hear people yellin’. They was honkin’ their horns and yellin’ so loud we could hear them in the bedroom. Wasn’t no colored folks on the street, except Mr. Carter and he was dead. They hung him and beat him and drug him up and down Ninth Street. We was all hidin’ and cryin.’ My Momma was tellin’ us to be quiet.” He stopped, looked away and back, directly at me.
“They shouldn’t have done that.”
            Here I was. It was a nice brisk autumn day and I should have been somewhere else, but I was sitting in someone else’s yard listening to an old man reciting his version of our city’s most awful moment and I couldn’t escape.
            “They drug him and drug him. All back and forth on Ninth Street. We could hear the cars and them horns honkin’, the honkin,’ oh my lord, the honkin’. Ain’t nobody ought to have that done to them. We was still cryin’ when they built a fire at Ninth and Broadway and burned him up. We could smell the smoke and that made us cry harder. My momma had some cookies in her apron pocket and she gave one to the younger kids to hush them up. She broke one in half and gave me a piece. She took the other half and then she started cryin’ too.”
            He looked at the cookie in his hand, then returned to that awful day.
            “Somebody said they broke one of his arms off and waved it at the cars going down Broadway,” he said. “I don’t know. Nobody looked out the window the whole time, for we was too scared.”
            I pretended to write something.
            “Too bad,” he said so low I barely heard him. “Them was bad days. Bad for us all.”
            The smoke circled us and I sat as still as I could. Mr. Pitts stopped talking and sat with his hand with the cookie resting on his leg. As the fog of remembrance cleared, he began to smile. He didn’t say anything. He was done talking to white strangers for the day.
            He sat there proud and triumphant, a black-skinned Cicero having had his say, needing neither accolades nor approval. I thanked him, not sure at all whether he even heard me, and then eased away and headed home. I was all confusion, trying to sort out what had just happened. I still had an assignment but what the hell was I going to write? The truth about what happened? That would be the honest thing. It might even be a good piece. Shake the readers up a bit. Let them know that history wasn’t all about Victorian houses. Hell yes!
            Back home, I sat in the kitchen and stared through the window. When I tried, I could hear the shouts on the street, feel the throb of the car engines running, and smell the acrid smoke of man and wood burning.
Damn that old man!
Outside the afternoon was dissolving into evening. The shadows got longer and darker the way our thoughts will as we doze. Beyond the kitchen window, the air was still crisp and clear. Inside, it was dark and gloomy. The evening sky changed purposefully that time of year like a lover moving from caresses to kisses, and then to the dark undertones of passion. My thoughts moved that way, too, as I reflected on the day and what it was trying to tell me. Maybe it was trying to tell me to be brave, or truthful …, or honest. Maybe it was suggesting that I approach what I was doing with something a little deeper than just seeing my name in print. Maybe it was just trying to tell me to say something else entirely, before darkness came. Maybe. Maybe.
After a time, I stood up and retrieved a beat-up Remington typewriter and package of paper from a closet and carried them, with as much gentleness as I could muster, into the kitchen. I placed the typewriter on the kitchen table so I could see beyond it into the deepening gloom. Then I slid a page of paper into it and turned the cylinder so the paper was position precisely across the top, aligned there neat and worthy of higher-level thought. I drew and released a long breath of sad air—air that had once moved through the city and down the streets and around the large oak trees past the moving cars and quaint old houses and had once even flowed around the twitching, smoking body of John Carter.
I didn’t want to, but I smelled that smoke.
Click, click, I advanced the paper.
I was ready. My mind was as clear as the way of a traveler making the last turn on the last curve before home. I rubbed my hands. I thought how funny it would be to make the Sign of the Cross.
Instead, I started to type: “Mr. Otis Pitts, age 70 and a lifelong resident of Little Rock, has a new best friend who is only five years old.”


July 2009
Revised 2017

Friday, July 20, 2018

My Redacted Life: Chapter 15

Things didn’t always go smoothly as I continued my adventures as an urban planning consultant. Take my second trip to Malvern, for example. It still smarts.

There was pretty much a routine case on the agenda. A developer wanted to build a cheap apartment building smack dab in the middle of a middle-class African-American neighborhood. There wasn’t any way to “pretty this one up.” I received numerous calls from the concerned neighbors, and three or four letters expressing dismay at the prospect. They all promised to be at the planning commission meeting.

I included the letters in my report and mentioned the calls. I included some statements on neighborhood stability. My thoughts were pretty clear.

Unfortunately.

I arrived on time and took my place with the commissioners at the head of the table. There was only this one item on the addenda. I was surprised, to say the least, to see that none of the neighbors involved in the case showed for the hearing.

There were four men in the audience. Three I didn’t know. The forth owned the largest reality company in town and one of the banks. I knew he had a mean streak. He had once killed a major development for the city through his influence with the utility commission. Seems that the land sale was going to a rival firm.

He was the stereotype small town businessman who would receive a Rotary award at lunch, evict a family buying a house on contract from him at noon for missing their first payment in years, and take a neighboring widow a sack of tomatoes from his garden that evening.

It was a not-too-well-kept secret around town that he was a mean one. And I posed a target for his wrath.

After the Chairman opened the hearing for discussion, he ambled to the podium, took a deep breath, and turned to me.

“It seems,” he said, “that the only person in the room who is against this project is this young man from Little Rock. I don’t know how they do things in Little Rock. I don’t live there. Never wanted to. I like Malvern. This young man doesn’t.”

He continued in this vein, listing my inadequacies until he began to approach his regard of my Sainted Mother and her child-raising abilities. As I started to rise, the Chairman shut things down and called for a vote. I’m sure I don’t have mention how it turned out.

On the way home that night, I resolved to abandon this sill dream the next day. I wasn’t going to stand abuse like that. No one could treat me that way. I could go back into the Navy, or go on to California. To hell with this racket. It wasn't the last time I would form this resolve.

Dawn rose. I rose. I went to work with the conviction that I would leave the business if and when I damned-well chose. No two-bit hustler would chase me away. I don’t have to tell you how that turned out. I would prevail and, as the story goes, there are always obituaries that don’t make me cry. In short, I prevailed.

I would become a little more diligent about learning whose bank was going to finance projects in the future and which banks held mortgages. And I would respect the stance of others. Later, I ran into the man who had been the most vocal neighbor before the hearing.

When I asked what happened to him and the others, he looked at the ground. “Nothing,” he said. “We just all have mortgages along with jobs that were hard to come by and can be hard to keep.”

They don’t teach case studies like this in graduate school. I always figured it was worth a couple of hours of credit. I learned to survive and to keep on keeping on.

Oh, and the asshole in question got his second “Man of the Year,” award a few years later, I seem to remember.


The treacherous will be with us always.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Morning Thoughts: November 15, 2017

“So, life is tough? Read the first passage of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Imagine you can’t pronounce all the works due to a learning disability. Then imagine you and dozens of others with varying types of learning disabilities have been challenged to memorize the entire speech and recite it in front of a group of peers, teachers, and parents.

Another obstacle? You’ve never spoken to a group in public before.

The reward? A coin that says you did it.

As for me, the only disability I suffer from these days is a long-standing incapability to say no when a city wants me to visit and talk about its challenges.

So yesterday I went north to help out and to earn a bit. I went way up in north Arkansas, only a few miles from the Missouri line, and back

I reached Little Rock in time that I could catch the monthly documentary at the MacArthur Museum of Arkansas Military History, a gem of a Little Rock treasure that I serve as a board member. Each month the staff shows documentaries that relate to the museum’s mission in some way. I try always to go, but last night was a challenge.

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself by then, having driven nearly six hours total. I hadn’t eaten supper. I didn’t smell that great. My butt hurt, and the knee I’ve been having trouble with was killing me. I’m not even sure as to whether or not I loved the Galilean with my accustomed vigor at that point. I felt mean, ugly, dispirited, hateful, and full of the poison of human unkindness. Picture a TV evangelist.

My beloved wife, who can usually dispel this sort of world weariness, was at our farm caring for her mother.

While I sat alone in a chair resting, a fresh bottle of Four Roses Single Barrell yelled from the cupboard. “Here I am, lover boy.” Across the room Grant, by Ron Chernow, cooed, "And I'm over here, Sweetie." The Little Rock skyline had never sparkled with more allure. Temptations were mounting. Time was passing. I needed to make a decision.

So, naturally, I walked across the street to MacArthur Park, into the museum, and up a long, long flight of stairs. Have I ever mentioned that I’m not a young man?

At last aloft in the viewing room, I settled in with some free beer and popcorn. I chatted with a good friend who came in with his wife. Things began to look up.

Then the film started. It was The Address, a film by Ken Burns. It chronicles how each year, the young men who attend the tiny Greenwood school in Putney Vermont, are encouraged to memorize, practice and recite The Gettysburg Address. The boys, aged 11 to 17, suffer from a variety of learning disabilities.

Just imagine.

I won’t give away the ending. Let’s just say that a roomful of eyes enjoyed discreet dabbings as the house lights came back on, and guess what?

My knee didn’t hurt at all walking back.