Growing Up Southern: March 6, 2018

Must go earn today. Will be fun to see my friends and associates in Searcy Arkansas. Not much time, but here's my favorite joke ever. It was told to me by my late Uncle Joe Henderson, who used more earthy language in the telling, so use your own imagination.

A guy walks into state headquarters in Alaska and says he wants to become a citizen.

Clerk sends him to the right place, a small cabin outdoors. He repeats his wish.

"Ain't that easy, another man says. You have to pass a test."

"I can pass any test you have," the applicant says."I'm from Texas. What must I do?"

"First, down a quart of Alaskan home brew."

"No problem. I'm from Texas, raised on it."

"Then  you must wrestle a grizzly bear."

"No problem. We grow 'em big down in Texas."

"Then make love to an Eskimo woman." (Here Uncle Joe told it better).

"No problem. I'm from Texas. You ever seen one of our homecoming queens?"

"Are you sure?"

"Let's get started. I'm from Texas and this won't cause me a sweat."

So he drinks a quart of Alaskan home brew. He wobbles a bit, but manages, "Next?"

The clerk points toward the woods and the man stumbles out. Soon, there is the awfullest commotion you ever heard. There were sounds of screams, thrashing about, trees breaking, and dirt flying. After awhile, the man emerges all scratched and bruised, with his clothes in tatters.

"Now," he says, "Where's that Eskimo woman you wanted me to wrestle?"

Well, when you're fourteen and on your first fishing trip with the grownups, that's funny. I don't care who you are.