Sunrise With Schubert March 10, 2018

I once read a short story about a man who wanted to find the place where jokes originated. He finally found it in a remote site somewhere in mid-America.

I don’t remember how it turned out. I think maybe he was executed as a spy, sort of a counter-humorous ending. He probably died laughing, though.

There are places I’ve always wanted to find, the exact source of “They say,” for example. This was my late father-in-law’s favorite source of everyday enlightenment. I picture it as somewhere between a large factory building straight out of Modern Times and the work spaces described in 1984.

One wonders if there is a quota system. Can’t you just picture the blank forms flowing by with some poor worker busy dashing off a “They Say” on each one?

“They say we’re in for some rough weather.”

“They say the market is going to crash.”

“They say kids these days don’t know how to sign their own names.”

“They say gas may hit five dollars a gallon before long.”

“They say that you won’t gain weight if you eat standing up.”

“They say that not knowing what you are doing makes you better at it.”

Get the picture? Do you reckon the workers ever get behind? Can’t you see a Lucy and Ethyl scene where the line speeds up and some poor soul starts poking blank sheets down her blouse in order to keep up?

Would such a job affect your speech outside the workplace?

“They say that some couples only have sex once a year.”

“They say that husbands who don’t talk a lot tend to live longer.”

They say that kids are even getting into the spirit of things at an earlier age now, so there must be a separate wing at the factory for youthful aphorisms.

“They say that the new I-Phone increases grade-point averages by an entire letter grade.”

“They say that letting a child stay out later builds trust in a family.”

“They say that there is more wisdom in a cell phone than in all the libraries combined.”

"They say that football players have character and can be trusted."

“They say it won’t happen if you do it standing up.”

I’ll keep looking for the source of such wisdom. After I find it, I may have the energy to tackle “Sources say.” They say the two factories are located near one another.

They say we create our own reality.