Growing Up Southern: September 15, 2017

They say the “Greatest Generation” gave up its present for our future. I think of that a lot. Fate has placed one of those great ones into our care, a saint who now requires constant supervision. If paying back a debt requires sacrifice, so be it.

"I've had a good life," she says.

Caregiving now requires of Brenda and me that one, or both of us, is with our ward at all times. We don't have the option of traveling anywhere together, just the two of us. We now know how our parents, one of whom is that ward now in our care, must have felt when we were helpless children. In each of our cases, our parents would have no more left us with a babysitter than they would have rented us out to a textile factory. Care was a constant obligation.

Life can be confining. People sometimes laud us for our sacrifice, but, to us, it is simply something you do. Just as you can’t refuse to take a breath, you can’t refuse responsibility. What you can do is live a life of pleasures gained from what some would call the mundane, unimaginative, or uninspiring.

Something like enjoying, together, the colors of a forest changing tones just before dusk.

Something like helping one another repair an old tractor that has given faithful service for over 50 years.

Something like making a reference to a mutually revered book or movie, such as, “Gee, people are driving just like the race scene from On The Beach. Remember that?” Or, one watching Rebecca for the 20^th time simply because the other loves it so much.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. We miss walking along the seashore together after having boiled a pot of shrimp and feasted “bigly.” We miss walking the streets of Washington, D.C. and feeling the flow of history coursing through us. Cannery Row, San Francisco, Gettysburg, Chichen Itza, Fallingwater, Chicago … we miss them all.

But one can’t always pick and choose in life. We believe that those are the happiest who can find beauty in a fallen leaf, joy in sharing a good book, or comfort in recalling old friends and family members that are no longer with us. Sometimes, that is all that life is willing to grant us.

Young and ready for life