Did some informal research last evening while watching a
little television. Discovered that I know very little about modern business,
nor care to. That’s what happens when one strays from PBS into The Wasteland. I
formed some amazing conclusions, to wit:
- In over 35.6 percent of the TV commercials displayed, I
had no idea what product or service was being advertised.
- Unlike in my youth, when movie trailers (we called them “previews
of coming attractions” in those days) made you, by design, want to see the movie
being featured, today’s trailers are warnings that a normal person should not allow
themselves to be dragged to see the film by a team of horses.
- The chances of a modern drug (A) curing you, or (B)
killing you, are 1 in 25.
- In this modern world, a patient seeing a physician must be
warned, for some reason, not to forget to tell their physician if they are
pregnant or have had an organ transplant. Has the concept of “top of mind
awareness” fled our modern psyche as did the ability to utilize cognitive
logic?
- Every cell phone service is the cheapest with the broadest
service area and the most doodads. A few even still offer the ability to call
someone up and talk by voice, although this feature is considered arcane and
increasingly unnecessary.
- The female models in TV commercials are all beginning to
resemble, to a marked degree, the president’s wife or daughter.
- The primary purchasing factor in a new automobile is its
ability to transport the driver via public streets at speeds far beyond the
legal limit or within safety regulations.
- Americans have grown weak. Unlike my wife or me, or
millions within our age group, they cannot quit smoking by simply ceasing to
smoke, they must have some medication to help them. Sad. I simply can’t imagine
another physical benefit that would require pharmaceutical input to produce happiness.
- Self-mutilation, or worse, resulting from a poor credit
rating may be the next crisis in America.
- To earn the title “feel-good hit of the summer,” future
films will probably be forced to include multiple gunfights and at least one
car chase exceeding 45 minutes in length.
- The future of America will largely be guided by a long-standing
academic relic that academicians refer to as “Miles Law,” originated by a
high-ranking bureaucrat during the Truman era. It states that “Where you stand
depends on where you sit.” There is a slight variation to its modern
definition: the phrase “where you sit” has been expanded to include “what TV
news channel you watch.”
I think I’ll go read some Charles Dickens.
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| Nobody asked me, but … |
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