I wised off to this police officer, see. Not a real wising-off,
just one of my patented “smart mouths,” as Brenda calls them.
Well, with a billy club on my throat, his partner standing
by, and my buddies all be done “di di mao’ed” like cockroaches when the light
comes on, the officer told me just how much he enjoyed working a sailor over,
using quite colorful language, some of which I’m sure he learned during his own
stint in the service.
I believed him, for I had seen what they did to poor Danny Altman
a couple of weekends before. Charleston was a nasty city then. May still be. Don’t
know. I don’t go there anymore. I’d eat at a Chick-fil-A before I’d go
back to Charleston. Poor Danny was a small guy, whom the others called, “Shorty.”
I always called him “Danny,” for I felt he needed any small bit of respect he
could gain. They put him out of the Navy on a “good of the Service” discharge and
he died a few months later trying to save a young girl from drowning.
Anyway, he was a mess that Monday they carried home back aboard
the ship. I’ve never smarted off to
police officer since. And I’ve never had my head bashed in. I was especially careful
for the remainder of my military service in Charleston.
Yeah, I know I’m white.
Let me tell you what happened last time I found myself pulled
over by a police officer. I had bought this truck I drive now, and I had my head
up my, uh, let’s just say where it didn’t belong, coming home from working in
Searcy and hit the limits of the little town of McCrae, Arkansas. I was speeding.
There was no doubt about it. I shouldn’t have been. I was sure the officer was
about to agree with that. Oh, by the way, he was a large black officer, very
large and very black.
By the time he reached my window, I had my registration out.
I shook my head when he reached me, got myself ready for a fray, smiled, and
said, “Officer, you got me fair and square. I wasn’t paying attention and
should have been. I’ve no excuse.”
You should have seen the look on his face. He tried not to, but
he finally smiled and said, “Mister, I’ve been doing this for 23 years and that’s
the first time I’ve ever had anyone say that to me.” He walked back to his
vehicle to check me out, shaking his head and laughing.
He gave me a warning ticket and we both went on our ways. I
knew the Mayor of that town well. When I told him that story, he laughed and
told how that officer carried an ice chest filled with bottled water in the trunk
of his police car and would always stop at the local park and give the youths a drink.
Yeah, I know I’m white. Yeah, I know I have that “Get out of
jail free” license plate that maybe one in ten thousand Americans (most former service
members) respect. Yeah, I can only faintly imagine what it’s like to be targeted
for undue scrutiny by the police. Yeah, I know that of the, (up to) 850,000
police officers in the United States, some are jerks of the highest order, and
should be weeded out. In my heart, though, I feel that the police officer "jerk percentage" is lower than
that for TV evangelists and I know its much lower than that for national politicians.
Yeah, I know I owe a debt of gratitude for simply being the result of a
particular-favored male sperm. And, yeah, I know life ain’t that great for others.
But yeah, I know I’m getting a little tired of listening to that
crap about police officers being the epitome of evil. I know that when I was in a battle zone and things got hairy, I didn’t
want “Johnny Good Shoes” on the next bunker. I wanted the craziest son-of-a
bitch in the company waiting with me out on the edge of the jungle. They are
the ones who stand there when the stuff starts flying.
Same thing here. We want those who are crazy, or bold, or dedicated
enough to drive the gang-infested streets at two o’clock in the morning, seeing
things that no human should have to witness, putting up with things nobody
should have to bear, while we sleep at home in a warm bed on a full stomach. We
just don’t think they should let it affect them.
I, for one, don’t plan to screw around with them and find
out if it has.
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