Wednesday, May 29, 2019

A Cleansing Allegory ...

Sometimes it just takes a rattlesnake. That’s true. One of the species Crotalus horridus (what a tacky name) can be proud. He is responsible for a major cleanup of our farm in north Lonoke County, Arkansas. How? You might well ask. Oh, he didn’t actually do the work. He just provided the motivation.

It happened this way.

It’s been a busy couple of years for us, Brenda and me. We aren’t the neatest people in the world for starters. In addition, we both suffer from Tentyseconditus. For those who don’t know, that’s a medical syndrome whereby one can pick up a strange item, one that he or she doesn’t remember acquiring, one that he or she has no idea what it could possible be used for, one that he or she cannot remember having seen before, … but … after staring at it for 20 seconds can imagine a tres charming use that it might be put to, rendering it worthy of saving.

A year ago, there were maybe 15 piles of such items scattered at various sites near the entrance to our farm. Any discussion of removal of the slightest item, no matter how rusted, bent, corroded, or absent major parts, instigated an argument the likes of which haven’t seen since Helen fled to Troy with Paris. Several new words have been added to Webster’s Unauthorized Dictionary of Profanity as a result of these discussions. So, the piles remained in place.

Grass and weeks grew up around and within the piles. A bittersweet pecan tree arose from one. Poke sallet soared above others. The piles lay undisturbed and developed a someone mocking demeanor. We simply mowed around them as best we could and discouraged visitors.

Then the snake showed up. Our dogs announced the fact by circling it and emitting, in seven-part harmony, their “snake-bark.” The snake itself stayed calm, coiled and daring a canine entry into the strike-zone. Its tail quivered that message which, translated from the original Rattlesnake, means, roughly, “Don’t **** with me.”

Then La Jefa, “The Boss” appeared, shocked at such a saucy intrusion into her yard space. The dogs parted in deference to the higher authority. The snake made the mistake of turning its narrow eyes toward her. Then it went to see Jesus, suffering an expiration from more or less natural causes.

Next, a search began for a site of origin. There were at least five piles of unclassified junk, covered by weeds and grass, that could have accounted for this herpetological nightmare.

May I proudly state that almost all the piles of trash and weeds have now been removed? A multitude of trash bags, containing the objects du hoarding, now await transportation to the county dump. Tired, sore, but proud muscles stand ready for the task. Oh, we didn’t get away scot-free. We did retain something that looks like part of an old music stand. You just never know. Also, there is a twisted object that might be one of those tools country women once used to lift hot jars from pots. “I might start canning again,” was all she said. I knew to keep my mouth shut.

The lesson? sometimes we don’t pay attention and our world gets clogged and profaned with piles of trash. They fester and grow if not stopped. They attract more vermin if we don’t stand up to the task.  Sometimes we feel it is just too great and we don’t have enough support to get the job done. We argue amongst ourselves as to the best course of action. We suffer malaise. We long for a cleansing motivator.

All it takes is a rattlesnake.

Make America Beautiful Again


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